During the sermon on Pentecost Sunday I was very aware of the heroic Simon Peter standing, as he did, raising his voice and addressing the crowd. This wonderful, bold, saintly person. The cry, "Oh that we might be like him," on the lips of so many of us. Others look at the Apostle Paul and wish they could be the consistently 'go for it' zealot that we see in him.
Well of course these two mighty men of faith were heroes and were 'all out' for God. But they were also as flawed and fallible as us; They too had their feet of clay and their sinful natures poked through the thin layers of righteous clothing in exactly the saem way it does for us.
Take a look at the divisions, arising from the Gentile Pentecost, between Peter (leaning towards Judaism) and Paul (leaning towards freedom from the Jewish way). The divisions and the way that the primary figures handled themselves leads on to think that they weren't all sweetness and light and that they wouldn't have fared well in so many of our twee, 'let's agree to differ (and sing I love you with the love of the Lord)' churches and fellowships.
Let's face it, these two were flawed, aggressive and probably not the plaster saints that so many would have us believe. Don't believe me? Take a look at Galatians and the strongly worded, and extremely robust, attack on false Apostles. Who do you think Paul was having a pop at? Who were the 'pillars of the church' Paul was having a swipe at?
Not all the time, for there are indications of love and mutual respect, but there are barbs and the flawed and sinful human nature shows it's head from time to time.
I recall reading a biography of Paul which spoke of the man being depressive and flawed at times. Amazingly, depression is seen as making us fallible and open to attack of all kinds (mental, emotional and more) and yet it is often a hallmark of the Christian saints, historical and present, and thus should not be seen as something that limits but perhaps opens us to God and his healing, enabling and grace.
The tension between reflecting Christ in our lives and living with the hidden depths of our ever-present depraved nature is no different for us as it was for Simon Peter, Paul, James, John or any other of the saints and heroes. The ability to do good and to think differently, to endure the idiots we meet and struggle to see the image of the invisible God in the person before us (hoping that they might be doing the same with us), is part of the daily struggle to follow the path that leads to the cross and denying of self.
Watching the film, 'Machine Gun Preacher' recently I found myself cheering as the flawed man that was Sam Childers apparently found Christ in a church service. I applauded as the Childers character went to East Africa and worked with others to construct buildings for orphans and returned and encourage people to give themselves and be committed to the work of God. Yippee, a real-life action hero of the Christian kind?
Well it was 'Yes' and then, for me, 'No'.
The man becomes more and more taken up with doing stuff in his own strength and his encouragement of others turns to condemnation and reviling and the means that he adopts deny the Christian message and puts off God entirely. The story is one of excess in all areas and by being so displays the ability to be the saint and have that subverted by our passion, commitment and desire to see 'stuff' happen, with or without God and His people.
I struggle to lead by example and be non-directive (which some see as a failing) and yet I know that there is a need for me to walk at God's pace in a way that might bring others on the journey with me and so, despite myself, I continue (but there's someone in me who wants to act differently).
When you look in the mirror do you celebrate the image of the invisible God made visible in you or do you sag at the image of the flawed and fallible person? May we make our prayer the words of John (3) in that, "He must become greater and we must become less.”
Pax